8.11.2006

Merrily We Roll Along.

My days of late have been trying. It's very hard to stay positive and focused when it feels like I don't have a purpose.

Summer = work. Or that's the usual equation, anyway.

I've been trying very hard to find myself content with inconsequential activity . . . it's so difficult though.

It's even more difficult when all the unresolved issues and feelings and burdens constantly roll around in my head.

8.07.2006

Found on www.elfwood.com.

"Sweetie, I miss you so very, very much. I can't tell you how it breaks my heart to read of your situation and to be in a position where all I can offer you is electronic sentiments. In a time where the world must seem so cold and distant to you, I long to be a tangible warmth and presence in your life. I wish I could be strong for you, and let the world roll away from you. I wish I could shield you from the hurts and the injustice that no one deserves, least of all you. You have a purity of spirit and heart that helped to shape my high school years. I never told you this, but I always saw in you a strength and a light that I just didn't have. You were such a big influence in who and what I wanted to be. I wanted to make you proud of me. Did you know that? I've always known you were hurting, and I have always wanted to be the one to take that hurt from you.

I SEE YOU, just as you are. And I love you all the more for the strength and the grace with which you carry yourself. You are a beautiful goddess in a raging storm; not untouched, nor unfazed, but proud and determined to see it through. I pray that you do. And I pray that at the end of the storm, you will find many years of calm seas and joy."

Thank you Amanda. Thank you.