"I know what my decision is . . . and it's not to decide."

So I was floating about my Facebook feed when a new entry from The Bloggess showed up.

If you don't follow her, you should.  She's flipping hilarious.  

But anyway.  Her psychiatrist is pressuring her to "make a plan."  

Now this one hit home for me.  So, although I don't usually reach my hand out to the ether of the internet, I wrote up a response to her.

"Hey listen. Friend in the universe. I wouldn't respond because you probably won't see this, but maybe you're just as neurotic as me and you will read EVERYTHING.

I know you're a bit older than me (I'm 27), but I have never had a plan. Like, ever. I tried to go into elementary education in college because it was "safe" and "stable" . . . but it was also bullshit. I don't need to be taught how to teach kids to draw with crayons. So I went the ME route. I got a degree in theatre performance. Yes, the loans are eating me inside out, yes, it was a whimsical choice, yes, it's highly unlikely that I would ever succeed with it as I have bipolar disorder, but damn it, it was my choice.

I've been feeling my way about ever since. I still don't have a plan. But the pieces all seem to fall into place when I need them too. After college I got involved with non-profit animal welfare, and now think that it might be a viable career choice (albeit meager). My boyfriend (now husband) has always been my rock, my bread-bringer-homer, and my reason. And I am, for the first time, acting "professionally." Someone's paying me for that shit. And damn it, that makes it a good day to be me.

{"Reflection" by Seasonal, DeviantArt.}

So I say - you don't need a plan. Because not having one is a PLAN TOO."