I Remember.

"It was an entirely special cat of

silver-grey, with eyes and ears outlined

in black, as if with kohl. The eyes,

staring up at her, were as green as -

green as -

'Her eyes,' said Perub, 'reminded

us of the lakes in the Oasis. Green

like them. We called her Ta-she,

land of lakes. Though of course you

may name her what you wish.'

The little cat, not quite a kitten but

almost, purred confidently in Irun's hands.

'Ta-she,' said Irun. 'Ta-she.' "

-The Cat in the Mirror by Mary Stoltz

I seem to recall she came to us in the spring. She wasn't a kitten, but certainly young. I remember Mom chasing her along the backside of the house with the blue broom, trying desparately to shoo her when she was already destined to be ours.

I remember trying to teach her to be assertive to the neighboring cats. I remember her romping with me into the woods. I remember being worried each time she was gone for a day or two.

I remember finding out about her and her kittens! She must've been such a good mother. I bet her kittens were gorgeous, just like her. I remember being so upset at finding out our neighbor gave you away, but all that was overshadowed by the joy I felt when you came back. I was so afraid you wouldn't remember me.

I always snuck you up into my room. I never cared how much trouble I got into . . . I just loved letting you in and giving you that warmth and luxury. Then you would mew at the front door and Mom would get even angrier. It was all worth it.

I'd give anything to hear that mew right now . . . or one of your chirps after hearing your name.

I remember your reaction to my hospital bracelet after I came home from the ER . . . we were both so scared.

I remember relying on you whenever I was upset . . . I would leave the house and lay with you no matter how cold it was on the porch.

I remember being sad to leave you behind when I went to college . . . and being so happy to see you each time I had occasion to return.

I remember your kiss spot.

I remember being worried about the move to Elverson, but you and Emmie adjusted just fine. I bought you both collars and ID to be safe . . . the very collar I wear around my wrist now.

I remember seeing you the summer I came home for treatment . . . you avoided me as if to express the difference.

And I remember our last few visits together. Always eager to see you, to pick you up and squeeze you, to lay with you in the grass, enjoying your company.

I DIDN'T KNOW IT WOULD BE FOR THE LAST TIME.

I always wanted to take you in, baby. To let your last years be comfortable and carefree. To come full circle with you, to show you I would always be there and was always there in heart and spirit.

BUT IT DIDN'T QUITE WORK OUT THAT WAY. YOU LEFT SO SUDDENLY.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE OKAY; THAT YOU WEREN'T SLOWING DOWN.

Maybe I was wrong, sweetie. I had to go by the opinions of those who lived with you.

I JUST WANTED YOU TO BE AS HAPPY AS POSSIBLE.

I HOPE YOU WERE, BABY. I HOPE YOU WERE.

I remember Mom & Ed putting you in the car.

I remember crying all the way home.

I remember seeing your box mixed in with my presents.

I remember being a customer rather than a worker.

I

R

E

M

E

M

B

E

R

B

R

E

A

K

I

N

G

D

O

W

N

.

My last stroke.

Your last kiss.

And I'll cling to you until you return.

I remember.

Ta-she

The Cat in the Mirror

You came from the same road
that took away the cat before you,
you mewed from beyond the bushes -
I eagerly responded with my own.
We called to each other,
and you came across that road
Rob and I could not have had
Brighter eyes
More eager hearts
Or softer hands to stroke your variant browns and vibrant oranges

Mom thought you looked awful,
your neck ripped to hell and
your ears bitten up -
I never saw it.
I saw “Ta-she”, Land of Lakes

She tried her best
to frighten you away
But no amount of shooing could erase the
promise of bologna we would sneak you.

Dad never loved you
He was too afraid to lose again
But we did
Again and again
In each slice of bologna
In each warm smile
In each tender stroke

Until you were OURS.

(2006)

Rest in peace, baby. Momma loves you.

~1996-2007

A Cat's Xmas Prayer

{image from www.donnalouisa.com}

A Cat’s Christmas Prayer

Whoever made the stars that shine,
Whoever made green trees of pine,
Whoever dreamed up fish and mice,
Or sun and rain and snow and ice,
Must have the power in His paws
To help when there’s a worthy cause.
Whoever gave the birds a nest
Will grant this humble cat’s request.

For needy felines everywhere,
I meow my little Christmas prayer.
Please heal the sick
And cheer the sad,
Forgive the naughty,
And excuse the bad.

One more simple thing I ask:
A pool of sunlight in which to bask,
Plus a plate of food,
A safe, warm house,
A loving lap, a catnip mouse.
Freedom from fleas, fur balls, and mats,
And homes for all the homeless cats.

-A Cat’s Christmas by Stefanie Samek

Stiches! (T_T)

So I can't really type a lot (apparently), but I got stiches today. (T_T) Oh my medical procedure virginity has been taken from me. I friggin' cut myself feeding the cats wet food this morning. I hearby swear off all cans that have tabs. I'll take the extra 30 seconds to use a can opener, thanks.

Ugh.

FIDGET!

Ya happy? :-P

Here's a pic! Mrawr! One of my favourites.

["Spidersilk". Usual websites.]

"Lithium"

Lithium, don't want to lock me up inside.

Lithium, don't want to forget how it feels without . . .

Lithium, I want to stay in love with my sorrow.

Oh, but God, I want to let it go.



Come to bed, don't make me sleep alone.

Couldn't hide the emptiness, you let it show.

Never wanted it to be so cold.

Just didn't drink enough to say you love me.



I can't hold on to me,

Wonder what's wrong with me.



Lithium, don't want to lock me up inside.

Lithium, don't want to forget how it feels without . . .

Lithium, I want to stay in love with my sorrow.



I don't want to let it lay me down this time.

Drown my will to fly.

Here in the darkness I know myself.

Can't break free until I let it go.

Let me go.



Darling, I forgive you after all.

Anything is better than to be alone.

And in the end I guess I had to fall.

Always find my place among the ashes.



I can't hold on to me,

Wonder what's wrong with me.



Lithium, don't want to lock me up inside.

Lithium, don't want to forget how it feels without . . .

Lithium, stay in love me.

I'm gonna let it go.



-Evanescence.







P.S. Scout's been adopted. Shelter life is hectic as all get out, but still . . . I find I like to feel I'm doing a bit of good in the world.

.hack//sign

{ From www.animeonline.com}

So I'm pretty hooked on this animé series. I just picked up the game to try it out. Although it is a bit puzzling that they released it for PS2 instead of as an MMORPG considering the game in the game is an MMO . . .











P.S. Scout's doing just fine! (^_^)

So I lasted a day at least . . .

I couldn't help it! It was foster or the room and he was just too cute. I named him Scout. He likes to perch on my shoulder and he's got those big blue eyes. What a love.

Strange

"Strange . . . how I find myself so often on a distant shore . . . "

-"So Many Things", Eden by Sarah Brightman