MJ, Elizabethanized.


Verse 1
I likened my lady to that of a dazzling star upon a moving portrait
Quoth I, “It matters not, but pray, what meaneth thou by calling my name?”
Who among thee will Gay Gordon on the canvas of our hocks?
Quoth she, “You be him that Gay Gordons on said canvas.”

Verse 2
She then confided me her name whilst she did make much ado
All the court was upon me, all eyne fanciful with delusions of grandeur
Who among thee will Gay Gordon on the canvas of our hocks?

All mine company advises to move purposefully
One cannot destroy that which is held most dear within their bosom
The centre of my creation e'er spoketh: do not give of yourself freely
Move with calculation else the devil will sit upon the lips of the masses

This wench, she be not mine love
She simply be a guttersnipe with mine name on her lips
Nay, the child be not of my seed
Upon her grave I be so, yet he be not mine.


Getting to Know You Survey, Ren Faire.

{Minack Theatre, unknown location}


HOME: Here


BORN & RAISED: There. Just a county over.

WHAT, IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR? Earthtones, usually. They tend to vary with mood.

IF YOU COULD BUILD YOUR DREAM HOUSE ANYWHERE? It's not so much "where" as where I wouldn't be if I chose a particular place. I wish I could live anywhere andstill be near what's important.

WHO WOULD PLAY YOU IN THAT MOVIE BASED ON YOURLIFE? I'd humour any interpretation of me. Watching would be interesting.

BIRTHDAY: May 12, 1984. My quarter life crisis fast approaches! (Indeed, has already passed)

FAVORITE BOOKS: Chronicles of Narnia, Harry P, His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman, 1984, Discworld series, Hitchhiker's Guide series all come immediately to mind. Delving into excerpts of the Upanishads and Vedas currently.

MUSIC PREFERENCES: Everyone's saying eclectic, but it's true of me as well. From showtunes to Eminem, my harddrive is quite diverse. Right now I've been on a folk/Brit/indie kick; Feist, Kate Nash, Regina Spektor.

FAVORITE ALL TIME CD: POTO was my anthem for a long time. Still adore it.

WHAT DO YOU DO AWAY FROM FAIRE: As I alluded to with my "poo" intro, I work at the Place (for those out of the area, read "animal shelter"). Scooping kennels is only the start of a typical day. Job titles include Animal Care Technician, Lost & Found Coordinator, and Offsite Adoption Counselor. It's unlike anything I've ever experienced. I couldn't give you a straight answer as to why I would live paycheck to paycheck to work there,"squandering" my education as some would put it.

SONG YOU WISH YOU HAD WRITTEN: I don't feel a particular want of ownership of any one song, as long as I can sing them.

MOST INFLUENTIAL PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE TO DATE: I'd be dead without my mom, from childbirth to her guidance along the way.

FAVORITE FILMS: I'm as all over the board on this one as music. Give me Henson, give me Disney, give me drama, action, fantasy.

TV SHOWS (CURRENT): Lucky there's a Family Guy.

TV SHOWS (ALL TIME): Still holding out for that $200 Monty Python box set (yeah right.)

WHAT DO YOU DRIVE: A 2005 Chevy Aveo dubbed "Sinmobile". Good story, that.



FAVORITE INEBRIATING BEVERAGE: Love ciders: Magner's, Woodchuck pear. I tend to get quite girly too: Dirty Girl Scouts, Mudslides, Jolly Ranchers.

CELEBRITY OF FANTASY: Johnny Depp. Yes please.

FAVORITE PLAY: Into the Woods, Equus, Long Day's Journey into Night come to mind.

FAVORITE FAIRE MOMENT AS PATRON/CAST MEMBER: As a patron, when I was a giddy,dressed up teenager, my friends and I met a cast member who was supposed to be some French guy. I then proceeded to one up his French skills by confusing him with gramatical idiosyncrasies. Delightful! And I was/am e'er impressed by a perfect kiss to the hand.

WHERE DO YOU GO TO FIND YOURSELF AND PERSPECTIVE: "In my own little corner in my own little chair . . . " Really, I don't have a physical place. It's usually inside.

FAVORITE SAYINGS: I say "oh snap" quite a bit. When incredulous I tend to say "question mark?" at the end of an inquiry. To divert focus from inappropriate/off-colour statements, I follow them immediately with a "Who said that?"

ONE WORD TO DESCRIBE YOURSELF: Endurance popped into my head first. For proper tense/part of speech to fulfill the question properly, I'll go with "survivour".


FAVORITE ICE CREAM: Mint chocolate chip.





Grannie ~

Although it's somewhat childish and silly, I wanted to send you off with some reflections. More for me, perhaps, than you, but with the most sincere of intentions.

My immediate impression of you about five years ago was that of infinite warmth and acceptance. You and Gramps were at once welcoming of me as Ed's girlfriend; and your door was always open to me, even in his absence.

Any one of us would have loved to see you walk again ~ and the strides you did make! ~ but it was never to be. Ed will likely always revile goats because of it. (I've never been altogether fond of them anyway.)

But really, the purpose of these unspoken words is to voice the deep regret I feel when considering your death.

Regret that we couldn't have more time with you.

Regret that you will never see us wed.

Regret that you will never know your great~grandchildren.

For the brief time I did know you, I loved you in return; accepted you in return.

We will miss you, Grannie.

I will miss you.

Helen Osborne

2/21/1920 - 5/6/2009



{The best to come from the worst.}

Maya: Hey.
Maya: I appreciate the random lurking.
Hell: hey darling
Hell: heh
Hell: I'm creepy
Maya: No, not creepy. Supportive in a way.
Hell: cool. I'm sorry it's being rough for you.
Maya: I had a really detrimental panic attack at work and now it's come down to I leave or get fired pretty soon.
Hell: I wield whimsy to banish sorrow.
Hell: oh poop
Hell: that's ass
Maya: Ed's Gram was dying (is dead now) and I needed off work to go see her with him, and they were like, no. Find coverage.
Maya: I eventually did but not before freaking out and involving upper escelons (or whatever that word is). Now I'm being cited for insubordination and whatever other foibles my once friend could come up with.
Hell: yah, tragically places that are cool with that are in the minority
Hell: /comfort
Maya: Well the irony is that it drew me into thinking it was.
Maya: Or I would never have revealed that side of my life.


Maya: I've never really felt in control.
Maya: That there's always a contrary force at play.
Maya: But I always try. Because I have to.
Hell: aye
Maya: I've just given so much to this damn place for betrayal to sit well. But I knew. I knew when they "fired" me the first time lol.
Hell: allowing yourself to get hung up on their bullshit is the same thing as letting them win.
Hell: Stand above it.
Maya: I just . . . am so angry I let myself believe it was the place of potential I knew it could be than what it really is.
Hell: yah,
Hell: i know.
Hell: the best revenge is living well.