Hesitance.

{"Like a Daydream or a Fever" by Fahad Alkadi}

I think I'm afraid to be happy.

To let myself feel happiness.

To stay in a state of elation for more than a brief moment.

If I linger I may step too closely to that which I cannot control.

But exerting this control over myself only leads to deeper sadness. Not even sadness. A state of grey. Neutral. Contentment. But not really.

Very soon I'm going to have to feel. I will want to, it will be inevitable. Maybe I should prep medicinally.

~~~

I'm getting my first tattoo tomorrow! I'm hella excited, and will be sure to post pictures.